Back in the day, I was a big fan of the X Files. Although I'm a very logical person, I admired Agent Maulder's problem solving technique. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but somehow, starting with an outrageous working theory, adding new input and following where it leads seemed to me to be an efficient way to solve complex problems or mysteries.
I think I've worked out why. Most of the time, when faced with a problem or mystery we have a set of possible solutions or working theories in mind. If something doesn't fit in with it; a pattern, a clue, a statement; the brain has a tendency to ignore it because it is deemed insignificant. It doesn't fit in to any of the possible solutions, therefore it must simply be a random event or object. By keeping even the most outrageous possibilities open (aliens, monsters, mega-conspiracies), you are tricking your brain into allowing you to acknowledge and store data and patterns it otherwise would have disposed of. This can be crucial when a potential solution that you hadn't previously thought of comes to mind and suddenly, everything fits.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Harnessing emotion; Go from slave to master
I've pointed out before that I think the problems associated with bipolar disorder or any chemical imbalance disorder arise from emotion.
The imbalanced chemicals cause the experience of emotion at inappropriate times. This affects your thought process and your behavior if you're not very aware of it.
I have learned, over many years, to react very differently to my own emotional state. I don't dismiss all emotion. After all, some are pleasant and even very useful. If I'm experiencing an adrenaline rush during one of my favorite songs, I'll go ahead and immerse myself in it for a few minutes. If I'm angry and it's helping me focus in a productive manner, I'll go ahead and be angry for a few minutes.
However, if I'm experiencing an unusual level of anxiety, fear, depression, irritability or even glee, my first response now is "imbalance". I don't look for circumstantial conditions to attach the emotion to. I know there aren't any. I regard it much like having a cold or flu (depending on the level of severity), take medicine if necessary, just ignore it if it's not.
There is a big difference between being aware of your condition and allowing it to define who you are. I don't mind sharing my insights and opinions for what they're worth, but I'm not joining any support groups, becoming an activist or asking anyone for funding. I will not make "bipolar" that big a part of my life. It's an interesting footnote, and that's all it's going to be. The lessons I've learned from dealing with chemical imbalance are just as useful for those who don't experience chemical imbalance. Understanding your emotional system and making it work for you, instead of being its puppet, will make anyone happier and more productive.
The imbalanced chemicals cause the experience of emotion at inappropriate times. This affects your thought process and your behavior if you're not very aware of it.
I have learned, over many years, to react very differently to my own emotional state. I don't dismiss all emotion. After all, some are pleasant and even very useful. If I'm experiencing an adrenaline rush during one of my favorite songs, I'll go ahead and immerse myself in it for a few minutes. If I'm angry and it's helping me focus in a productive manner, I'll go ahead and be angry for a few minutes.
However, if I'm experiencing an unusual level of anxiety, fear, depression, irritability or even glee, my first response now is "imbalance". I don't look for circumstantial conditions to attach the emotion to. I know there aren't any. I regard it much like having a cold or flu (depending on the level of severity), take medicine if necessary, just ignore it if it's not.
There is a big difference between being aware of your condition and allowing it to define who you are. I don't mind sharing my insights and opinions for what they're worth, but I'm not joining any support groups, becoming an activist or asking anyone for funding. I will not make "bipolar" that big a part of my life. It's an interesting footnote, and that's all it's going to be. The lessons I've learned from dealing with chemical imbalance are just as useful for those who don't experience chemical imbalance. Understanding your emotional system and making it work for you, instead of being its puppet, will make anyone happier and more productive.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Get to know your brain
It's a common misconception that the self and the brain are one and the same. Not so. The brain is a very complex and capable computer. The self is the user. There are aspects of the way the computer functions that make it very efficient, but can also lead to poor judgments and decision making if one is not aware of them. One to be very aware of is rationalization.
The brain doesn't like uncertainty or not knowing. It wants an answer and it wants one now. It will make one up if it has to. If you suddenly experience fear, the brain wants to know why. The emotion is supposed to give the brain a heads up to something that has changed in the environment or situation. If you look around and take stock of the situation and there is no obvious answer, the brain will move from facts to possibilities and it will keep piecing bits of data together until it has something plausible.
The problem is the brain will find an answer whether the alarm bell was legitimate or not. If you're experiencing fear or anxiety due to a chemical imbalance and not due to any real danger, your brain will find something for you to be afraid of. It works the same with depression. If you're in depressive mode your brain will make mountains out of molehills for you and give you something, many things, to be depressed about.
Awareness is your counter-measure. Objective, logical analysis is your best tool. Your brain and your emotions are your advisers. You are the boss, or at least you're supposed to be. If you've been derelict in your duties, take back the reigns and get back to driving.
The brain doesn't like uncertainty or not knowing. It wants an answer and it wants one now. It will make one up if it has to. If you suddenly experience fear, the brain wants to know why. The emotion is supposed to give the brain a heads up to something that has changed in the environment or situation. If you look around and take stock of the situation and there is no obvious answer, the brain will move from facts to possibilities and it will keep piecing bits of data together until it has something plausible.
The problem is the brain will find an answer whether the alarm bell was legitimate or not. If you're experiencing fear or anxiety due to a chemical imbalance and not due to any real danger, your brain will find something for you to be afraid of. It works the same with depression. If you're in depressive mode your brain will make mountains out of molehills for you and give you something, many things, to be depressed about.
Awareness is your counter-measure. Objective, logical analysis is your best tool. Your brain and your emotions are your advisers. You are the boss, or at least you're supposed to be. If you've been derelict in your duties, take back the reigns and get back to driving.
Don't let success lead to burning bridges
I have had four episodes in the past 25 years that required some hospitalization due to my irrational behavior. Three of those times, I saw it coming and couldn't stop it. I am under no illusions that because I haven't had such an episode in a long while, I'm no longer prone to one.
Both my doctor and therapist wondered if I needed to continue to see them. I said absolutely, if only because it keeps me in their system. I now see the therapist for a few minutes each month and the doctor for about 5 minutes every six months. This ensures that if things go south in a hurry, there will be no mountains of paperwork for my wife to sit and fill out on top of all the turmoil she'd have to deal with.
I may go the rest of my life without another episode, but keeping the supply lines open in terms of treatment (or plan B) is still a great investment. If it only brings my family some extra peace of mind, it's paid off in spades.
Both my doctor and therapist wondered if I needed to continue to see them. I said absolutely, if only because it keeps me in their system. I now see the therapist for a few minutes each month and the doctor for about 5 minutes every six months. This ensures that if things go south in a hurry, there will be no mountains of paperwork for my wife to sit and fill out on top of all the turmoil she'd have to deal with.
I may go the rest of my life without another episode, but keeping the supply lines open in terms of treatment (or plan B) is still a great investment. If it only brings my family some extra peace of mind, it's paid off in spades.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Don't let your ailment define you
My son is low-functioning autistic. He's now 19 years-old. By the time he was 6, I realized that there was no cure for the condition and the medical community really didn't understand where it came from. I put the notion of a "cure" out of my head and accepted Max as Max. The most frustrating thing I had to deal with from that point forward was the school system insisting on more and more tests. For some reason, they needed a more refined label for him. I just wanted them to teach him as much as he was able to learn. They wanted to find a just the right pigeon-hole to put him in.
Giving your problem a name isn't a solution. Learning to survive and thrive in spite of it is. I've had a handful of diagnosis to explain my occasional vacations from reality. I've settled on bipolar because I no longer care what anyone calls it. I'm becoming more aware of it and learning to work-around it, regardless of what you call it. While I don't really care if others know about it, I don't need them to know, or understand or make accommodations. My condition may be described as "bipolar" but "I" am not "bipolar". My son is autistic. He is not autism.
No doubt, there are times when making others aware of your condition and the nature of it is helpful and advantageous. But, don't live there. You will never excel if you convince others (and yourself) that it's not possible. Trying to force people to accept you as their burden, rather than an asset is not progress. You can't be a champion and a victim. Pick one.
Giving your problem a name isn't a solution. Learning to survive and thrive in spite of it is. I've had a handful of diagnosis to explain my occasional vacations from reality. I've settled on bipolar because I no longer care what anyone calls it. I'm becoming more aware of it and learning to work-around it, regardless of what you call it. While I don't really care if others know about it, I don't need them to know, or understand or make accommodations. My condition may be described as "bipolar" but "I" am not "bipolar". My son is autistic. He is not autism.
No doubt, there are times when making others aware of your condition and the nature of it is helpful and advantageous. But, don't live there. You will never excel if you convince others (and yourself) that it's not possible. Trying to force people to accept you as their burden, rather than an asset is not progress. You can't be a champion and a victim. Pick one.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Sleep is a powerful medicine
In my first manic episodes, things didn't really get out of hand until I had gone without sleep for a few days. I had convinced myself that as long as I got rest, sleep was not necessary. I have since learned that sleep is the brain's reset mechanism. It's not just for the body, it's essential for the mind.
A healthy amount of sleep is around 7.5 hours/day. If you're falling substantially short of that, see your doctor or go to the store and get some diphenhydramine. Ideally, you want to learn to sleep on your own whenever possible, but don't dwell on that. Get your sleep however you can.
When you're in depressive mode, you may have the opposite problem. You want to sleep all the time. This is a reaction to your emotions and the best way to combat that is to simply ignore the urge. If you know you've had enough sleep, get up and find something to do. Take a walk, clean the house, read something.
In manic mode, your thoughts can often keep you awake. You have an idea or train of thought that's stuck in a loop and you can't let it go. One thing that helps is to make use of external memory, that is, write it down. You can go to your computer or pick up a pen and paper and just write yourself an article, essay or letter. The idea will be there in its entirety should you decide to pick it up again tomorrow or later. If you're re-thinking all the things you need to do tomorrow, make your to-do list and set it on the kitchen table. Get all the things rolling over in your head onto hard copy. You'll find it quite relieving.
Alcohol is not a good solution. Trust me on that one. Turkey soup, however, does help. Another trick is to count backwards in your head, slowly, from 1000. If you lose count, start over. If you get to zero, start over. It's tedious and boring and keeps your brain occupied. Eventually your thoughts drift and you'll find yourself nodding off. Also, if you're consistently not getting enough sleep, layoff the caffeine for a while. You don't have to give it up forever. You can live without it for a week or two.
The need for sleep is a biological fact. It's important to acknowledge that because your brain will sometimes try to convince you otherwise. The world will still be there when you wake up. It's okay to ignore it for a few hours. In fact, you'll deal with it much more efficiently if you do.
A healthy amount of sleep is around 7.5 hours/day. If you're falling substantially short of that, see your doctor or go to the store and get some diphenhydramine. Ideally, you want to learn to sleep on your own whenever possible, but don't dwell on that. Get your sleep however you can.
When you're in depressive mode, you may have the opposite problem. You want to sleep all the time. This is a reaction to your emotions and the best way to combat that is to simply ignore the urge. If you know you've had enough sleep, get up and find something to do. Take a walk, clean the house, read something.
In manic mode, your thoughts can often keep you awake. You have an idea or train of thought that's stuck in a loop and you can't let it go. One thing that helps is to make use of external memory, that is, write it down. You can go to your computer or pick up a pen and paper and just write yourself an article, essay or letter. The idea will be there in its entirety should you decide to pick it up again tomorrow or later. If you're re-thinking all the things you need to do tomorrow, make your to-do list and set it on the kitchen table. Get all the things rolling over in your head onto hard copy. You'll find it quite relieving.
Alcohol is not a good solution. Trust me on that one. Turkey soup, however, does help. Another trick is to count backwards in your head, slowly, from 1000. If you lose count, start over. If you get to zero, start over. It's tedious and boring and keeps your brain occupied. Eventually your thoughts drift and you'll find yourself nodding off. Also, if you're consistently not getting enough sleep, layoff the caffeine for a while. You don't have to give it up forever. You can live without it for a week or two.
The need for sleep is a biological fact. It's important to acknowledge that because your brain will sometimes try to convince you otherwise. The world will still be there when you wake up. It's okay to ignore it for a few hours. In fact, you'll deal with it much more efficiently if you do.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Obsession - Are You Doing Other People's Homework?
When I was in high school, things came pretty easy to me. I had empathy for those who did not pick up on things so quickly. So much so that I would often take it upon myself to help them catch up in class. This actually put me in a position where I had to stay late to finish some final projects because I hadn't spent enough time on my own work.
I was not experiencing bipolarism at the time. It was just a bad habit. But, when you are chemically imbalanced, this same type of behavior can exhibit itself in the extreme.
In my own experience, during one fairly lengthy episode I took to joining scientific forums and going on for hours about the cosmos, it's origins and the nature of physics. I'm not a scientist, just curious. All this would have been fine except that I had two businesses barely hanging on and I was spending five hours a day or more on something that was not benefiting myself, my businesses or my family in any way, shape or form. Fortunately I caught on after a while. Now when I notice myself falling into some kind of obsessive behavior, I try to direct it toward something more productive. I'll still find an hour or two a week to ponder the universe, but if I'm going to spend 1/3 of a day on something, it better be making me money or improving my lot in life in some way. No more doing other people's homework.
Be on guard for such behavior. You may not be able to control the chemicals that run through your bloodstream, but again, you can control your reaction to them with practice. If you find yourself spending a lot of time pondering one thing, or engaged in a specific type of activity, stop and look at the situation objectively. Does it make sense? Are there better ways to spend your time? What are your goals for the next 6 months, 3 years, 5 years? What can you be doing now to get you closer to them? Why aren't you doing that instead of trying to become the Sudoko champion of the world?
A good way to start is to simply make a list each morning of the things you'd like to accomplish today. If you get them all done you can spend a little time in trivial pursuits. Eventually you want to mesh the things you have to do with things you like to do. You can do this by trying to find entertainment value in the things you have to do, as well as constantly reevaluating what it is you think you want to do.
If you can find a way to pursue your interests in a way that benefits someone else, you've stumbled onto a potential productive enterprise. We call it capitalism. Don't be in too big a hurry. You don't have to figure it all out this week. Just keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities and take them when they arise. In the meantime, don't lose sight of your present reality. Do your own homework.
I was not experiencing bipolarism at the time. It was just a bad habit. But, when you are chemically imbalanced, this same type of behavior can exhibit itself in the extreme.
In my own experience, during one fairly lengthy episode I took to joining scientific forums and going on for hours about the cosmos, it's origins and the nature of physics. I'm not a scientist, just curious. All this would have been fine except that I had two businesses barely hanging on and I was spending five hours a day or more on something that was not benefiting myself, my businesses or my family in any way, shape or form. Fortunately I caught on after a while. Now when I notice myself falling into some kind of obsessive behavior, I try to direct it toward something more productive. I'll still find an hour or two a week to ponder the universe, but if I'm going to spend 1/3 of a day on something, it better be making me money or improving my lot in life in some way. No more doing other people's homework.
Be on guard for such behavior. You may not be able to control the chemicals that run through your bloodstream, but again, you can control your reaction to them with practice. If you find yourself spending a lot of time pondering one thing, or engaged in a specific type of activity, stop and look at the situation objectively. Does it make sense? Are there better ways to spend your time? What are your goals for the next 6 months, 3 years, 5 years? What can you be doing now to get you closer to them? Why aren't you doing that instead of trying to become the Sudoko champion of the world?
A good way to start is to simply make a list each morning of the things you'd like to accomplish today. If you get them all done you can spend a little time in trivial pursuits. Eventually you want to mesh the things you have to do with things you like to do. You can do this by trying to find entertainment value in the things you have to do, as well as constantly reevaluating what it is you think you want to do.
If you can find a way to pursue your interests in a way that benefits someone else, you've stumbled onto a potential productive enterprise. We call it capitalism. Don't be in too big a hurry. You don't have to figure it all out this week. Just keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities and take them when they arise. In the meantime, don't lose sight of your present reality. Do your own homework.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)